Here's What Being Married for 60 Years Looks Like

Come October, my parents will have been married for 60 years. They have been together so long that they have basically grown up as one entity. They seem to know each other almost better than they each know themselves. And this goes way beyond simple likes and dislikes.

She knows when he's getting a little too tired. He knows when she's got a headache. She knows when he wants something to eat. He knows who she's talking to on the phone by the sound of her voice. They watch out for each other, protect each other, support each other, defend each other, encourage each other.

He glows and calls her "good-lookin'" when she walks through a room. She gently covers him when he lays down for a nap.

He patiently waits in the car when she gets her hair done or shops for fabric. She listens with care when he reminisces on his time in the Navy during WWII.

He lovingly takes a picture of each afghan that she crochets. She trustingly relies on him to fix anything and everything.

They seem to live in tandem, each one half of a whole. I will never know what it's like to have a faithful partner of 60 years. But I'm privileged and proud to see what it looks like through my very sweet parents.

Empty Nest Blues

The holidays and time with my kids have come and gone and here I go again. Why do I go through this every time? I certainly don't want my daughter and son living with me into their adulthood. Of course that would not be the right thing for them or me. They are ambitious young adults with active, successful lives, and I am so very proud of them.

But I miss them both so much. Whenever they are at home, the house is alive and whole and their energy transforms our house into a home. Their presence brings back irreplaceable memories.

It's particulary difficult for me when my son comes for a visit from college. I always look forward to it so much and work hard to create a welcome space for him and fill the fridge and cupboards with his favorites. There is nothing like that feeling when I first lay eyes on him either at the airport or climbing out of a friend's car. It's truly instant elation when I can finally give my son that first mama hug. The whole world looks a little brighter, and I find myself smiling without realizing it.

That's the high point. Then all too soon, the low point comes. It's time for him to leave, and I am facing that unavoidable grief once again. A heaviness fills me up and a painful ache takes over. I try to tell myself that I'm not being rational--that it's a good thing that he's in school and reaching for positive goals. That's the way it's suppose to be. But my emotional being just overrides everything else and the sadness sets in.

Then there's my beautiful daughter who does live in town. She's independent, successful, smart--just a great young lady. But I really don't see her nearly enough. There is too much time between visits. I treasure her company and want more of it. Sounds selfish, doesn't it.

I guess it boils down to the fact that I love those two more than life itself. They fill such a big part of my heart, so I guess it's probably normal to feel this empty nest grief. And I know that time will help to ease the heaviness, and there will be more visits to look forward to. But in the meantime, I will allow myself to feel this motherly sadness that grows from the enormous love that I have for my kids.

First Post

This is my first post. I look forward to sharing my thoughts about my family, interests, and life in general. More to come soon!